Katie's Big Fashion Debut
Now that she's a free woman, no longer a galactic bride, Katie Holmes is amping up her career to make sure she can keep daughter Suri in patent leather shoes for many more years to come. To that end, she is taking her clothing company Holmes & Yang, which she owns and runs with her stylist Jeanne Yang, to the next level. Meaning, she'll be showing at New York Fashion Week next month, in the tents. Which is a big deal! That's the top of the top right there, and, OK, sure maybe the Katie Holmes name had a little hand in getting H&Y there so quickly, but this is still an accomplishment. Currently the line only sells in a few places: New York, Los Angeles, Paris, Dallas, and, for some reason, Little Rock. But after a tent show? Who knows! Anything can happen at a tent show. They might expand past Little Rock into the hallowed shops of Tulsa, Jefferson City, maybe even Akron, in Holmes' native Ohio. The sky's the limit! Sure you can't see the sky because the tent is blocking it, but it's up there, and it's the limit. [Page Six]
Day Three of Prince Harry nakedgate, and things are looking a bit grimmer. The initial hilarious glee over the matter — a nude thirdling prince falling prey to the devious temptations of American Sodom — has settled or evaporated, and what remains is regret and uncertainty. Harry was seen in Los Angeles on his way home to London yesterday, "looking pale under a Panama hat and steadying
himself on a Dumpster in a parking lot as he chatted to friends." Oh my, just three days in and he's already been booted out of the royal life and forced to live in a parking lot near a dumpster. Just awful. Ha, isn't it a strange notion that Prince Harry has ever touched a dumpster? That he would at any point come in contact with a big ratty rusty bucket full of trash? Yes, yes, I'm sure he's hugged Fergie before, but this is different. (Great, mean Fergie joke. Really important to get that in there, huh?) It's just strange to think that he ever hovers so low to the real, grubby Earth, that he ever skims it with his hands. Anyway, we'll have to wait and see what happens when he returns to London. In the meantime, we can wonder about Harry's handlers and security guys, who the crown is apparently none too pleased with. It seems that during the illicit night in question, in which Harry and his mates invited some girls they'd just met up to their suite and things got wild, the handlers were very lackadaisical, failing to collect cellphones before things got rowdy and only half-heartedly protesting when they saw people taking pictures. Clearly more vigilance was demanded of their position, and they did not rise to the task. So now it's to the Tower of London with them, where they will await almost certain beheading, unless someone in the palace successfully pleads for their mercy. Normally that would be likely, but inside word is that ever since Kate Middleton showed up she's proven viciously bloodthirsty and capable of winning other people to her cause through sheer intimidation. There's talk she's even looking to begin a war with the French, claiming "the one true Anglican Church must have dominion over all. We must crush the Catholic scum for the good of England and our Lord!" So, these lowly security guys? They probably don't stand a chance. [Page Six; TMZ]
himself on a Dumpster in a parking lot as he chatted to friends." Oh my, just three days in and he's already been booted out of the royal life and forced to live in a parking lot near a dumpster. Just awful. Ha, isn't it a strange notion that Prince Harry has ever touched a dumpster? That he would at any point come in contact with a big ratty rusty bucket full of trash? Yes, yes, I'm sure he's hugged Fergie before, but this is different. (Great, mean Fergie joke. Really important to get that in there, huh?) It's just strange to think that he ever hovers so low to the real, grubby Earth, that he ever skims it with his hands. Anyway, we'll have to wait and see what happens when he returns to London. In the meantime, we can wonder about Harry's handlers and security guys, who the crown is apparently none too pleased with. It seems that during the illicit night in question, in which Harry and his mates invited some girls they'd just met up to their suite and things got wild, the handlers were very lackadaisical, failing to collect cellphones before things got rowdy and only half-heartedly protesting when they saw people taking pictures. Clearly more vigilance was demanded of their position, and they did not rise to the task. So now it's to the Tower of London with them, where they will await almost certain beheading, unless someone in the palace successfully pleads for their mercy. Normally that would be likely, but inside word is that ever since Kate Middleton showed up she's proven viciously bloodthirsty and capable of winning other people to her cause through sheer intimidation. There's talk she's even looking to begin a war with the French, claiming "the one true Anglican Church must have dominion over all. We must crush the Catholic scum for the good of England and our Lord!" So, these lowly security guys? They probably don't stand a chance. [Page Six; TMZ]
Here is the first picture of Kristen Stewart out in public since the affaire de Rupert went public, and Us Weekly says she looks "somber, slim and exhausted." There's a general tone of concern to the piece which is funny, because... um, guys? Like, Us Weekly? You're the ones that ran the pictures. You do know that much of this could have been avoided had you not, y'know, published photos of a 22-year-old girl making a terrible mistake, right? Like, you kinda sorta caused this? At least the magnified version of this? So I dunno. It just seems a tad strange to be commenting so wearily on something of your own creation. That's all. It's just a very strange relationship this whole gossip industry has with its subjects. "EXCLUSIVE: Ryan Reynolds Bleeds On Street After We Stabbed Him." (That is not an incitement to go stab Ryan Reynolds, anyone.) Y'know? It's just strange. Anyway, we keep eating the slop up, don't we? So here's some slop. Poor Kristen Stewart, loping down a street in her ex-boyfriend's cap, drinking McDonald's coffee, maybe thinking she doesn't deserve anything better than that. Probably because we keep telling her she doesn't. [Us Weekly]
One of Angelina Jolie's brood of blessed children is joining her in the acting game. They'll be using (I mean that's what it is when it's a small child, right? Using?) four-year-old Vivienne Jolie-Pitt as the younger Sleeping Beauty (Elle Fanning) in Jolie's Maleficent, a version of the classic tale told from the villain's point of view, à la Grendel (whose mother Jolie once played). It's not clear if the child version of Sleeping Beauty is a very big part, but it's still a big movie for one to make her debut in. And this is how it begins. Pretty soon you'll be seeing Vivienne going on arranged dates with Kingston Rossdale and appearing on her own Disney Channel show, something called Certainly Celia or some such thing. Then she'll go through her "serious" late-teen actress phase, playing some sort of willowy, beautiful junkie who's saved by a concerned... well, whoever will be Bradley Cooper in fifteen years. And by then everyone will have mostly forgotten that she was that little girl in her mommy's underwhelming fairy tale movie, and the rest of us will be living in the jungles to escape the smog pox, and there will be no more bees, and no more fish, but there will be Vivienne Jolie-Pitt, shuddering up there on the movie screen, the shining, shivering outcome of all her grand potential. [People]
Here are some good photos of Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone on a beach in Malibu celebrating Garfield's 29th birthday. And when I say "good," I mean... It's hard to say. They're just good, in the way that some celebrity photos are good. They're satisfying in a way that feels a little sad and prurient, sure, but they're also distant enough to assume the couple probably wasn't too bothered at the time. Hopefully they weren't. You know? They're good. They're good paparazzi photos of the right people. That's the birthday party. Now we know. Sigh. Now we know. [Daily Mail]
